


Distancing

by aeternamente



Series: Time and Space [1]
Category: Nothing Much to Do
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-04
Updated: 2014-08-04
Packaged: 2018-02-11 18:07:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2077977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeternamente/pseuds/aeternamente
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The whole “Ode to Pedro” ordeal had been pretty devastating, of course. But the thing is, as much as you wish the ground would just open up and swallow you whole in those moments, it never does. You’re just left in a weird situation that isn’t going to stop being weird, so you just have to figure out how to deal with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Distancing

The whole “Ode to Pedro” ordeal had been pretty devastating, of course. But the thing is, as much as you wish the ground would just open up and swallow you whole in those moments, it never does. You’re just left in a weird situation that isn’t going to stop being weird, so you just have to figure out how to deal with it.

You had some long conversations with Ursula. She thinks you should talk to Pedro about it. Maybe she’s right, but the idea of actually going through with that after what happened is… just no. So you decided to distance yourself.

You stop hanging out with your usual set of friends. At lunch, you sit with Ursula and those two year nine kids who are obsessed with being detectives. They’re convinced that John Donaldson is “up to something” and at first, you and Ursula are rolling your eyes at each other over your lunches, but some of the things they’re saying… well you’re starting to wonder.

It takes a week and a half for Pedro to notice your absence, and during that week and a half, you’re convinced you’re doing the right thing.  _If he really had any latent, unacknowledged interest in you, he would notice that you’re not around. He would miss you. But you’ve obviously just been fooling yourself. He has tons of other friends._

_You’re expendable to him._

But then he does notice. One day, you’ve just gotten your lunch and are about to sit down at your now-usual spot, when you glance over to where Pedro and the gang are sitting (you’re trying to break yourself of this habit, but it’s kind of automatic).

Pedro is looking right at you. He smiles and beckons for you to join him.

You probably look ridiculous—wide-eyed and frightened, and in serious danger of dropping your lunch. You should probably respond in some way. Just shake your head or something. But you feel paralyzed, and half-tempted to give in and join the group.

Instead you tear your eyes away and walk toward your usual seat with Ursula. You force yourself not to look back. You don’t want to see what the look on his face might be.

But later, in English, you look in his direction again (stupid force of habit), and again, he’s looking right at you, hurt and confused, and you hate the idea of Pedro being hurt and confused because of you.

(Also his hair is kinda curly today. His hair is really cute when it’s kinda curly.)

You go home and flop down onto your bed, and a part of you wonders if you’re overreacting. Maybe you should just… go back to the way things were. It would probably be easy enough. Just return to your usual seat at lunch, and this will all go away.

But you’ve developed a sort of all-or-nothing feeling when it comes to Pedro. Writing that song had made something snap inside you, something that had tolerated the arrangement where, as far as he’s concerned, you’re “just one of the guys.”

That’s not what Pedro is to you. That’s not what you want to be to Pedro.

The next day is terrible. He’s still hurt and confused, and it’s hard to avoid him, but you manage it. The thing about paying as much attention to a person as you do to Pedro is that you have a good idea of where he’ll be at any given time, and you know how to not be in those places.

And it’s Friday. After this, you’ve got the weekend.

But almost directly after school, there’s a text.

_Hey, haven’t seen you in a while. Ben and Claud are coming over, you should come too._

Ultimately, you ignore it. The fact that you compose and abandon three text responses and nearly leave the house at one point to go to Pedro’s—that’s all irrelevant. In the end, you stick to your guns and stay home and spend the evening working on a few songs (that have nothing to do with Pedro).

The next morning, there’s a video on Ben’s channel. From the looks of the thumbnail, it’s the hangout at Pedro’s with Ben and Claud that you missed last night. You shouldn’t watch it, but you do anyway.

And for the first minute or so, you kinda wonder if maybe you should have come. Particularly given that Claudio bailed so early (not that you don’t  _like_  Claudio, but sometimes he just gets really angry for no reason, and it puts you on edge).

But then there’s the rest of the video. You’re almost certain that John’s accusations are utter bullshit. Because it’s  _Hero_ , and also because you keep remembering the things Dogberry and Verges have said. Granted, the two of them are a little ridiculous, but they’ve got eyes, and they’re pretty intent on using them.

And you just can’t believe that Pedro would put this on the internet, knowing how unlikely it is, knowing what Claudio’s temper can be like, knowing that this would tear their whole world apart.

You’re bewildered, you’re upset, you’re  _angry_.

And, in spite of the past two days of wavering, you’re now certain you made the right choice in distancing yourself from him.


End file.
